For those of you lucky ones who have managed to steer clear of her unnecessarily-drama-infested “news,” here’s all you need to know: She and long-time boyfriend Calvin Harris broke up. A week later she was making out with Tom Hiddleston. Not only was it shady of her to move on so quickly, but Tom Hiddleston’s fans (like me) were shocked that he would go after someone who still makes her friends wear matching outfits to slumber parties.
Next, Swift denied ever allowing Kanye West to use her name in his song “Famous.” Cue Kim Kardashian posting a Snapchat video of Swift literally giving Kanye permission to use her name. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Now that you’re all caught up, you are welcome and, in fact, encouraged to purge your memory of these events after finishing this article because it is a waste of brain power to try to make sense of all this idiocy.
The funny part is that Swift didn’t ever have a contingency plan. She was so sure everyone would love her always and forever, that now that her dirt has been revealed, her PR attempts at fixing her image in the public are pitiful at best. It’s like the regular high school students suddenly decided to revolt against the prom queen, and nothing she does can get her in people’s good graces again. Even Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls had a better chance at building a future for herself after getting hit by a school bus.
At least, we kind of hope she’ll take the hint and stay on the down-low for a while. We’re ready for her to take some time out of the spotlight, and now would be the time to do it. It would be a win-win, right? We’d get some time away from her candy-coated parties and matching bestie outfits and she’d get to salvage what’s left of her reputation.
In a lackluster attempt at proving she’s a good person, Taylor Swift donated one million dollars to flood relief in Louisiana, where over 40,000 homes have been damaged. Sure, this is awesome–it’s always great to use what you have to help others–but the timing of it is awfully suspicious. It’s almost like Swift is yelling at anyone who listens, “See, guys? I’m still a good person! Don’t believe that nasty Kim Kardashian.”
Here’s the thing: you can donate money and do good in the world and still have aspects of your personality that suck. Now that fans have seen that side of their idol, will things ever be the same for her?
Hopefully not. Hopefully she uses this opportunity to grow up, admit she has faults and stop trying to pretend she is perfection in human form.