Last week, Orlando Bloom was spotted showing off his entire physique when he went paddle boarding with girlfriend Katy Perry. Perry was wearing a swimsuit. Bloom was wearing nothing but a hat and a porn-star mustache. Naturally, there’s no explanation for why he needed to be buck naked to paddle board.
Apparently vacations are the time to get naked in public because Justin Bieber was seen skinny dipping on his latest trip to Hawaii. To add to the wackiness, his father tweeted, “My boy” along with the cactus emoji. Glad to know he’s proud of his son.
So who took home the victory in this “sausage party?” Seth Rogan put the contenders up to his tough critical standards.
“As soon as I hear there’s a famous penis out there, I’m the first person to ravenously devour it online,” Rogen told Cohen when asked if he had seen the photos.
“I’ve seen Justin’s before, so maybe I was just like, you know, I’ve been there done that a little bit. And it’s a wonderful one,” Rogen began.
But wonderful isn’t enough for the funny thespian. He ultimately ended up siding with Orlando Bloom.
“But Orlando’s I was really happy with” Rogen explained. “Good for him. He’s in great shape overall. So I thought, honestly, Orlando’s probably a bigger guy and proportionally his penis still looked to scale, which made me think overall it’s probably bigger.”
Rogen and Cohen also went on to compliment Bloom’s bootyliciousness and nice personality as well.
So there you have it, folks. According to Seth Rogen, Orlando Bloom is the winner of the first ever Celebrity Sausage Party. Can we get press passes to round two?